Saturday, April 11, 2009

Social Saturday: Tea with Ms. Fettleston

I am turning today over to Ms. Fettleston. She sent me the following message.
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Dear Ms. Mira,

Please let all of the young people know they may now come over for tea. I am so happy to have them here in my little house.

I have Earl Grey tea prepared, with cream and sugar if they like. I have herbal tea bags, if they prefer. I also have lemonade, and water, of course, dear.

I will now serve:

Raspberry tarts
Blueberry scones
Lemon drops
Poppyseed Cake
Dark Chocolate Muffins
Hard-boiled eggs cut into a flower shape
Little ham sandwiches cut into triangles.
My very special Oatmeal Raisin cookies

I will please ask my guest to be sure to wipe their feet on the doormat. Also, if they would use one of my knitted coasters for their drinks, I would be most gratified.

Welcome, dears. I know we will have a lovely tea together.

Sincerely,

Ms. Fettleston

129 comments:

Ms. Fettleston said...

Good morning, dears. Please help yourself to anything you would like.

Can I pour you some tea, dear?

And what shall we discuss? How is the weather where you are, dear? It is showing signs of spring here, which is quite lovely. It is still rather chilly, though, and I do still need to wear my sweaters.

More tea, dear?

Aidan said...

Can I have about ten of those little triangle sandwiches, Mrs F? I've been on the run and didn't get time to eat yesterday.

And that poppy seed stuff is awesome.

DESTINY said...

Let's see.

I will have a two lemon drops and some lemonade.

I like lemons.

Where I am it is raining, snowing, sunny, cold, warm, temparate, humid, dry, still and windy. Thanks for asking.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

Ms. Fettleston said...

Mr. Aidan, thank you for coming. Of course you may have as many sandwiches as you like, dear. I do hope you don't go often without eating. Proper nutrition is so important, dear.

Good morning, Mr. Destiny. I don't often get to the movies, dear. I did see a wonderful movie once with Jimmy Stewart. It was quite thrilling.

Anonymous said...

Hi

Can I have a tart, a scone, a lemon drop, some cake, a muffin, a sandwich and two oatmeal raisin cookies?

I don't like hard boiled eggs.

It's raining here today.

I saw a movie I liked. It was about a mall cop. It was funny. I saw it yesterday.

Shadow

Christine H said...

Hello, everyone! I have brought my crumpets and strawberry jam. For those of you who don't know what crumpets are, they are like little pancakes.

It is raining here today, a lovely soft, spring rain. My mother is visiting. Her character might stop by later.

morphine-moniza said...

Thank you for inviting me. I would like some raspberry tarts please, with tea. Thank you. Er. Your house is very nice. Thanks for having me. Um.

Oh! I'm sorry about my boots! I came here from a swamp and just couldn't get the sludge off the soles... Sorry. Do you mind if I put my sword on the floor? It's a bit heavy.

Um. And I really do apologise for the smell. The swamp, you know.

Please don't mind Bat. He's quite tame. He'll like some fruit, if that's ok. He also likes to eat bacon strips.. if you have any?

Don't fly around Bat! Stop it.

Your house is very nice. Um.

Hello every one. So nice to meet you again.

Piffla said...

Whoo-hooo!!!! A party, what fun!!!

(zooms around the room, then lands on a chair and transforms into a little girlish figure about a foot high, with big round eyes, a beaked nose, downy hair like milkweed fluff and a feathered cape over her best gray dress.)

Hello, I'm Piffla! I'm a sprite. Christine said I could come. May I please have a cup of tea? I promise to use a napkin if I dribble.

(cocking her head and blinking)

Do you have any toasted mice?

Christine H said...

(Shhhh! Piffla, I have a mouse for you here. Eat it quietly please. There are a few more for the dogs, if they show up and want one.)

May I please have a sandwich and one of those lovely blueberry scones?

morphine-moniza said...

Hello Piffla, please don't eat Bat. Thank you.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Good morning, Mr. Shadow. My, you are a growing boy, aren't you? That sounds like a wonderful movie, dear.

Ms. Christine, how wonderful. I do so love crumpets and strawberry jam. I would love to meet your mother, dear.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Ms. Morphine-Marza,

How lovely you could come, dear. Perhaps you could place your sword in my bathroom, dear. And perhaps your boots. And your bat, dear. Would you like to take a bath while you're in there, dear. I don't mind, really. I'm afraid I don't have any bacon, but I do have some lovely apples from the store, dear. Perhaps your bat would like some of those?

Have some more raspberry tarts, dear.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Why Ms. ppifla, how pretty you are. Here is some tea. Please don't dip your mouse in the tea, though, dear, it might distress the other guests. And I do quite agree, do not eat the bat, dear.

Thank you, Ms. Christine, I did not think to stock mice for the guests. How thoughful of you to provide one.

morphine-moniza said...

Oh I'd love a bath! Thank you. I'm sure Bat would like an apple.

I really am sorry for getting dirt on the carpet. Um,I think my mother knows how to get the mud out. If you don't mind me popping out for a bit to ask her.

She says try using lemon juice.. and she's terribly sorry I dirtied your house.

My name is Berta by the way.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Dear Ms. Berta,

That is quite alright, dear. I do understand that you've been trudging around in swamps. It must have been quite exciting! But I would think it is quite difficult to stay clean under those circumstances.

Please thank your mother for me, dear. She is quite welcome to attend our little tea, as well.

Have you read any good books lately, dear? I read a detective books with 12 murders in it. It was quite grisley, really, and very exciting. It gave me the shivers, dear. But they did catch the murderer in the end.

morphine-moniza said...

12 murders! How horiible. Is a "detective" a type of demon? I heard some demons eat people... Between you and me, I have a horrible feeling Piffla is a demon. She doesn't seem like she would eat people though.
Could I have some blueberry scones please?

Charlene said...

Well, I'll take a cup of lemonade and a little sandwich, thanks.

I doubt Tanessa is going to eat or say very much, she's such an antisocial b- I mean um...she's not a people-person.

Excuse me while I step out on the balcony, time for my cigarette break.


-Brandon

Ms. Fettleston said...

Oh, Ms. Berta, do you really think such a pretty thing is a demon? I think she is quite lovely, although I am not sure the mice would agree. A detective is a person who locates murderers, dear, and puts them away so they can not murder other people. Perhaps in another life, I shall be a detective, it sounds rather dangerous. Here is your blueberry scone, Ms. Berta.

Mr. Brandon, I am so glad you are here. And Ms. Christine. You doesn't have to say anything, dear, but are you sure you don't want a lemon drop?

Well, I think I shall have a quick lie down, dears. Please do carry on without me for awhile.

Ari said...

...Why didn't you ask me to bake for you...? *sniffling a little*

The Screaming Guppy said...

Ms. Fettleston.

So, I brought a few things to exchange for the food. The eggs, specifically.

I have some moonshine - two bottles. Most people pay an arm and a leg for this stuff. Personally, I've never had much need for it. Thought you might?

I won some coffee beans in the pit the other day. It's good, but not a necessity. The protein in the eggs, that's a necessity. I'm sure you understand.

If none of that strikes your fancy, I'd be willing to part with one of my trophies. These things here, the silver clips in my hair. You seem like a lady who enjoys luxury items and isn't hurting for food.

Uh, looks like I got some dirt on your rug. Sorry, we don't have extra water for cleaning shoes where I come from.

-Kumari

Aidan said...

You're right. Demons eat people--well, their souls, actually.

Piffla's fine though. She wouldn't eat much anyway.

You're right Mrs F. I should eat more regularly. It kind of keeps me from wanting to eat souls. Oh well. I'm sure if I got that hungry my cousin Jason would tie me down until he could get me some food.

Piffla said...

I am NOT a demon!!! I am a sprite!!! (fluffing up her feathered cape indignantly.) I only eat things that my animal form would eat.

Haggiths eat people's souls. Nightstalkers eat people! All I wanted was a nice, little mouse.

I won't eat your bat, I promise.

Bo said...

Is Ms. F still taking a nap? Sorry I missed her. She's hot.

Well, ladies? Party's on! On me, actually. Who's interested?

Nevin said...

Stop that, Bo. You did promise the nice lady. I brought Tornado, my bunny. I wonder where those carrots are?

Kalila said...

Well, I think this is very cool. I haven't been to a good tea party in a couple hundred years. Nice that it's not all humans.

Anyone want my autograph?

Christine H said...

Hello Destiny,

No, I haven't seen any movies lately, but I'm looking forward to X-Men Origins. (I can't resist Hugh Jackman in anything.)

Here's something I've always wondered: Do our choices impact our destinies at all, or do you factor them in ahead of time? And did you decide what I chose to wear today, too, or do you just handle the big stuff?

Did you decide that I can't resist Hugh Jackman? Or did you just make him generally irresistable?

Where's Bo? I was looking forward to his lap. (Did I really say that out loud?)

Kumari,

I will trade you some of the eggs we cooked for Easter in exchange for the moonshine, if you want. [You know how it is, frustrated writers tend to drink a bit. Would you mind pouring some in my tea, since Mrs. Fettleston stepped out?]

Berta, would Bat like a mouse?

Shadow,
I saw the commercials for the Mall Cop movie. It looked funny! I really like that actor, but I can't think of his name at the moment. Kevin something, isn't it?

Ari, she didn't ask me to bake, I just took it upon myself to do so because I had some extra time. You know, because I'm not writing any more.
*sniff* So I *sniff* have extra time for stuff like that. *sniff*

(Piffla, spit the bones in your napkin, there's a dear.)

Tanessa, would you like a crumpet?

Aidan - I have no idea what to say. Sorry.

Elaine 'still writing' Smith said...

Hey Ms Fettleston
What a lot of pretty stuff you have ... lots of sweet things ... on the shelves and things I mean. Oh don't get me wrong the food stuff looks t-asty too.
Sorry - I haven't been around this many people in a long time. Sorry ...
Maybe this time I'll be able to cope being around so many people. Sorry.
I'm sorry if I have to leave early but it was nice of you to invite us here to ... well share and stuff.
I won't eat thanks but the lemonade would be nice.
I'll just sit over there in the corner - don't mind me. I'll just slip out if it all get's too much - pretend I'm not here OK?
Erm thanks...sorry

FLOWER

Piffla said...

Flower,

C-c-can I sit with you? *sniff*

They think I'm a demon and that I'll eat the bat.

(I want to go home!)

Christine H said...

Bo, how nice to see your abs again... I mean, you again!

Welcome, Nevin and Tornado!

Kalila, I'd love your autograph.

Since Mrs. Fettleston is having a little rest, how about if I make some fresh tea?
What a lovely knitted tea cozy this is. My, she certainly has a lot of knitted things in here, doesn't she?

Nevin said...

Piffla, you can sit with me. I'm a fairy and I understand sprites.

Uh...just to be clear, I'm a real fairy, not a homosexual. I made a terrible mistake in an interview last spring and later got beat up. I have nothing against homosexuals, but I don't want to be misunderstood again.

Does Ms Fettleston allow magic? I love to do magic tricks!

Bo said...

Great to see you too, Christine! You're looking gorgeous today. Anything you want to see besides my abs? I'm sure this house has other rooms. *wink*

Christine H said...

Well, Bo, you obviously *can't* see me, because I'm quite the sedentary thirty-something. And very, very married. But that doesn't stop my from admiring your very lovely abs. I can tell you've worked quite hard on them. Yes. Very hard. (sighing)

Would you care for a crumpet?

Piffla said...

Oooh!!!! I LOVE magic! I love fairies, too. Have you ever been to the midsummer dance in the mossy forest hall?

Christine H said...

P.S. Bo, has anyone ever told you you look like Hugh Jackman?

Flower, please do come and sit by me. Can I give you a nice scone? I promise, we won't bite. (Well, at least I won't.) You look a little nervous. But I'm very proud of you for coming.

I wonder how long Brandon is going to stand out there smoking?

Nevin said...

Piffla, I used to go to lots of fairy dances until I became interested in human music. I'm sort of an outcast now. Mozart was bad enough, but it's never been the same since I let Kalila talk me into joining her in an American rock band.

Since I see Bo is trying to seduce the ladies against our hostess's instructions, maybe I'll distract everyone with some magic tricks. Want to see some silver coins?

Bo said...

Christine, every woman is gorgeous to me. Let's sneak out into the garden. Your husband will never know.

Kalila said...

Cut it out, Bo. Didn't I tell you to get laid beforecoming to this party?

Bo said...

You're such a prude, little djinn.

Kalila said...

At least I'm not a sleazeball demon like you! (tosses tea in Bo's face)

Watch it or I'll kick you out of the band again.

Christine H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Piffla said...

Oooohhhh!!! Silver coins! Can you eat those? Their so shiny... I want to catch one in my beak.

Christine H said...

Kalila - Bo's a demon? Oh, that figures! Where did that moonshine go? I need a drink. And I don't mean tea.

Christine H said...

Piffla - no! Don't eat the coins. They'll make you sick. Here, have a sandwich, sweetie!

Aidan said...

I'd like to see some magic tricks.

Flower, I'll hold your hand if you want. I'm told it's comforting. Or I could get Jason and he could hold your hand.

Christine H said...

Hey Flower... Flower...come here now, sweetheart... Please... Just don't get too close to Aiden.

And, guys, don't blame Bo too much... I'm the one who started it.

Bo said...

I'm not a bad demon. I'm an incubus. I just want to make you happy. Preferably in bed, but anywhere will do.

Okay, I'll have some tea for now. I hate it when Kalila kicks me out of the band.

J.T Wilbanks said...

Hi everyone, Piper here.

I'm so sorry to arrive mid party like this but I had duel practise. If I had skipped Miss Electra would have thrown a mega bitc...hissy fit. I'm so sore from all the activity.

Seems like everyone's having fun, I'm glad I came. Can I have about two of anything you have? I haven't eaten since...oh shoot, I haven't eaten since yesterday morning, no wonder I'm so darned lightheaded.

I'm just going to sit down for a second.

*Nods off in seconds*

ZZZ-Piper-ZZZ

Nevin said...

Poor Flower. Are you still not feeling happy? I'll conjure a rose just for you.

Kalila said...

Don't wear yourself out, Nevin. We have a show tonight, remember?

I'm going to go out in the garden and see if I can find a breeze. I'm hungry.

Christine H said...

An incubus? (Pours some more moonshine into her tea.) That figures... who else would hit on a frumpy marshmallow like me?

Sooooo.... anybody have any good plans for the rest of the weekend?

Piper, have a scone! Or four! Some carbs should perk you up.

Piffla said...

Yippee!!! I love that rose, Nevin. Can you do lilies?

Christine H said...

P.S. Anybody want to sneak into the kitchen and see if Mrs. Fettleston knitted her own dish towels or not?

J.T Wilbanks said...

What! *Jumps up* Oh, sorry.

Thanks, this looks fattening. *Begins to stuff face*

Who's the cutie with the abs? Wow, he looks a lot like Hugh Jackman.

Weekend plans? I dunno, there isn't much to do at school short of sneaking out and running wild in the city, but the Third years tend to watch the passages between New York and the demention our school exists in. I'll probably just hang out with Tom and Esmay like I usually do.

00XX00-Piper-<3

Nevin said...

Lilies? Sure! Here you go.

I need to go check on Tornado now, make sure he didn't get into the garden. Poor bunny. He was hoping there would be watercress sandwiches here.

Bo said...

Hey, Piper, want to check out the spare bedroom?

Christine H said...

Piper... I looked up incubi on Wikipedia. Don't Go!

Bo said...

What a prudish bunch of humans you all are. I'm off to the strip club for awhile. Tell Ms. Fettleston I appreciate her hospitality and look forward to seeing her some other time. Someplace quiet and private.

J.T Wilbanks said...

Bedroom? Like, as in he wants to...sh*t, I away pick the wrong kinda guy.

Did he think that was an invatation into my pants? No, it wasn't.

Grr, that makes me so mad I could just spit, or set fire to something. *Sparks wreath around hands*

Oh well at least he left. I have enough boy drama as it is.

By the way the tea is delish.

00XX00-Piper-<3

Christine H said...

Hey there, Piper! I really love that thing you just did. Do you think you could stop by my novel and help out my heroine a little? She could use some help frying those nightstalkers. (They are super-intelligent lions who are afraid of fire.)

I have to go, unfortunately, to have real tea with my Mom. She was going to drop in, but the toasted mice kind of put her off.

Thank you, Mrs. Fettleston! Piffla, sweetie, you can stay and watch the magic tricks if you want.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Charlene said...

Sorry everyone, got a little lost in thought out there on the balcony.

Christine, your offer for a crumpet is sweet, but Tanessa's out there meditating, she does that from time to time.

Sheesh looks like I was missing some good stuff! I'll get another glass of lemonade and hang here awhile.


-Brandon

Ms. Fettleston said...

Oh my goodness, I had such a lovely nap.

I see you had quite a lively time while I was sleeping, dears.

Ms. Christine, how lovely of you to play hostess for me while I was sleeping, dear. You did a wonderful job making everyone feel at home. And, of course, all of my dishclothes are knitted, dear. In blue, dear. Would you like some, dear?

Ms. Fettleston said...

Ms. Ari, welcome dear. I don't usually ask my guests to bring items to a tea, dear, but if you would like to bake something, I would love to sample some. How lovely of you to want to share something.

Ms. Kumari, you may have all the eggs you like. I believe there are several left. I would not want you to be without nutrition, dear.

Mr. Aiden, I am very pleased to have you here, but please do not eat souls. People need their souls, you see, dear.

Mr. Bo, you are a very, very naughty boy. I was quite specific about not sitting on laps, much less using rooms. Naughty! I am most gratified that the ladies here were not taken in by your charms, dear.

Ms. Kahila, welcome, dear. I would love to have your autograph. I will ask you not to throw tea and Mr. Bo, though, no matter how naughty he is. It is most difficult to get tea out of the rug, dear.

Aidan said...

Hey! I didn't mean holding hands like THAT! I have a girlfriend. Well, ok, she's not exactly my girlfriend, but I want her to be.

I was just trying to be nice, really, Flower. Everyone always thinks I'm hitting on them when I'm not.

Sigh.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Mr. Nevin, I am so glad that you and your rabbit could make it. The carrots are in the refrigerator, dear. I shall get some out for you. I adore magic tricks, dear. How wonderful!

Ms. Flower, how lovely that you joined us. I quite understand, dear, if you can only stay for a short time. Have a lovely day, dear.

Ms. Piper, I'm so glad you like the tea. I would love to see your magic trick again. Please, do eat up, dear.

How lovely to have all of you young people here in my house.

Aidan said...

Mrs F--
No soul eating, I swear. I've never even DONE it before. I'm not sure I'd know how.

I make a terrible demon. It must be why I fight for the other side.

Can I have some more tea? I don't usually like it, but something about yours tastes better. Don't tell my cousin Jason; he'll get jealous. He's always shoving tea at me. That's what Brits do, I guess.

Anyone up for a game of cards?

Ms. Fettleston said...

Mr. Aiden, of course you may have more tea, dear. I would love to play some cards. What game would you like to play?

And I'm sure you make a very wonderful demon.

shy said...

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."

~~C.S. Lewis

Anonymous said...

Hi

I'm back. Can I have some more scones, a muffin, a tart, some cake, some cookies, and some eggs?

Before Kumari takes them all.

I like cards.

Shadow

J.T Wilbanks said...

Yeah, sure, magic trick.

*Sparks encircle and come very close to catching a loveseat on fire.*

Err, yeah, ta-da.

00XXOO-Piper-<3

Anonymous said...

WOW. Cool. Can you teach me to do that?

Shadow

Marilyn Peake said...

Thank you, Ms. Fettleston, for the tea and delicious food and the wonderfully festive atmosphere. It has been a long time since I left the magnificent city of gold and jewels in which I had thought I would grow up to be King. I have often been hungry and lonely since that time.

- Keegan, the once future King of The City of the Golden Sun, in The Fisherman’s Son Trilogy

Ms. Fettleston said...

Welcome Mr. Shy, dear. I adore C.S. Lewis. Have you read the Screwtape Letters, dear?

Mr. Shadow, my goodness, you ARE a growing boy, aren't you. Please do help yourself.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Oh my. Oh my. Oh my goodness.

Ms. Piper, that was very exciting, but perhaps we should leave the magic tricks with fire for the outside.

Do you have any magic tricks with flowers, dear?

Candy said...

whew! Sorry to be late - I got on the wrong train and ended up at the other end of the line - tjen had to race after the one going in the right direction and luckily some copper type grabbed my arm and pulled me aboard. I tried to wash up in the bathroom on the way in but someone was in the tub. It was kind of embarrassing!
Hey, it's terrific to see you all! I don't feel a bit out of place. Piffla, please come and sit on my shoulder. What a sweetie you are.
Oh Ms. Fettleston! May give you a hug? You look just the way I imagined. All this food! May I have some of everything? A cup of tea -no milk or sugar- thanks.
Wow, this is great! Come, little Piffla!

Ms. Fettleston said...

Welcome Mr. Keegan. I am so sorry that you have been hungry and lonely. Please fill your plate up, dear. No, alittle more, dear.

Ms. Candy, how wonderful to meet you in person. I would love a hug, dear. And you are a lovely young woman. Please help yourself to everything, dear.

More tea, anyone?

Anonymous said...

Hi Candy

Hi Keegan

Hi Piffla

Shadow

shy said...

"We had a kettle; we let it leak:
Our not repairing made it worse.
We haven't had any tea for a week...
The bottom is out of the Universe."


~Rudyard Kipling

Candy said...

Shadow, I can't really see you but somehow I know you're there. I've been dying to find out what happens to food when you eat. Does it turn invisible too? I can't quite see.
This is so good. Can you move over a bit Aidan, I haven't had a feast like this for a long time - if ever.
Yummmmmmmmmmmm

Anonymous said...

Hi Candy

I'm not invisible. I just can't see myself in the mirror. My food goes into my stomach.

This food is great.

What do you look like, Candy? How old are you?

Hi Aiden

Brokerage said...

Hello everyone.

Nice place, Ms. Fettleston. Ah, comfortable couchs are the best, aren't they. Just stretch my legs out here.

So, who is here? Tell me about yourselves.

Just got off work, myself. I'll have a scone and one of your special cookies, Ms. Fettleston. Tea sounds good.

Brand

Anonymous said...

Hi Brand

What kind of work do you do?

I'm 15. I go to school. I would like another tart.

Thank you.

Shadow

Anonymous said...

Hi Shy,

How come you don't talk like regular people?

Shadow

Marilyn Peake said...

We see that Keegan, the once future King of The City of the Golden Sun, is having a wonderful time at your tea party, Ms. Fettleston. We will bring his five companions from the ancient city beneath the ocean, as well as Wiley O’Mara, the brave boy who saved them all, to your festivities. The boys could definitely use a break from their heavy burdens to simply be children for a spell, to laugh and socialize and have their fill of sweets. Thank you for such a grand invitation. We will use our magic to get them to your party. The boys will travel on our backs through an ocean that we can make disappear at will. While the boys have fun at your party, we will float upon the air, waiting until they’re ready to return back home to their secret island far up North.

- Elden the dolphin, Beluga the white whale, Colt the dolphin, and Gladwin the dolphin – all magical creatures in Return of the Golden Age, third book in The Fisherman’s Son Trilogy

Brokerage said...

15? I remember when I was 15. Stick with it, kid. It gets better.

I'm in investments. Any interest in the stock market, kid? Probably not. Just thinking about the girls, eh? I remember when I was 15. Got a girlfriend?

Did I hear someone say cards? Wouldn't mind a round of poker.

Brand

shy said...

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first."

~David H. Comins

The Screaming Guppy said...

Christine H. - What is "Easter?" If these eggs are edible, I'll give you a bottle for a dozen.

Ms. Fettleston - Thanks for the eggs. I'll leave the coffee right here on the table for you. I don't like having debts.

Thanks for the trade, but I've got to get back soon. Got to be out for the hunt before sunrise.

-Kumari

Candy said...

Shadow, that must be weird - not to see yourself. I hope you're too young to shave yet or you'd really have a problem.. What about photographs? Do you show up on those? Oh, by the way, Is someone taking photos of us all together here? No, not in the alltogether, Bo!

Actually I'm eighteen, but I try to look older. Try to scare people with my short purple hair and piercings. I frown a lot and have learned to turn the corners of my black painted mouth down and squint my blackened eyes. Usually it works but some times I forget and when someone smiles at me I know I've let my guard down. Deep inside it feels good though, I must admit.

You seem nice though, Shadow, even though ---well you know what we hear about those who can't see themselves. Kind of scary - but I'm not scared of you.

Some people here could be very scary but somehow Ms. Fettleston has brought us all together so we're friends. I'm not even scowling anymore. I don't want to get out of practice though. Things could turn bloody bad for me then.
Have another lemon tart. I could eat anything lemon 'til the cows come home!

Ms. Fettleston said...

Welcome, Mr. Brand. My, you do look well-off, dear. Such a snappy dresser. I'm afraid I never understood the stock market very well. But I am lucky to have my teacher's pension. I am quite comfortable, really.

Hello Wiley and all of your young friends. You may eat whatever you like, but please don't lick your plates, dears. If your sea friends would like a snack, there is a pond with koi in it a few blocks down the street.

Ms. Kumari, I am sorry that you can't stay. Have a lovely evening hunting, dear.

Marilyn Peake said...

The table is filled with pretty shapes of food. I like the triangles of bread, and the rectangles of meat that stick out from between the middle of two slices. The tarts are circles, but the lemon drops are ovals. The hard-boiled eggs are breaking the rules today – they are flower-shaped, even though hard-boiled eggs are supposed to be ovals. The poppy seed cake has over 1,000 black dots in it. I will count all the pieces of food now. Please, I want to take some sweets to the mummy in the art museum.

- Anabelle Moon, main character (young girl) diagnosed with several possible labels: "autism", "idiot savant" and "Asperger’s Syndrome", in the short story, Mummy in the Art Museum, published in the Twisted Tails II: Volume 1 – Time on our Hands anthology

Bokerage said...

I'll take some of that coffee, Ms. Fettleston, if you don't mind.

Been a long day. Wouldn't mind something stronger than tea.

Brand

J.T Wilbanks said...

Yeah, I'm not sure if I could teach anybody anything. I'm kind of a different species of human. Plus, even I'm not quite sure how I do it. Try googling for flame throwers, I'm sure they're more reliable anyway.

I'm really not a pyromanic or anything, I'm just a girl. Notice I didn't include the word "normal" at the end of that sentence.

May I have a bit more tea before I go.

-J.T.

Christine H said...

Hi Mrs. Fettleston,

I just popped in to get Piffla. You're very welcome for playing hostess. I hope I wasn't too forward, but, you see, I used to help with our annual Mothers of Preschoolers tea at church, and I guess I'm used to it. Yes, I would LOVE some knitted dishclothes! And blue? You won't believe it but my whole kitchen is blue... I even use blue willow dishes. Thank you!

Dear Kumari,
Here are the eggs. Easter is a holiday around here where we color eggs for decoration, but nobody at my house really likes to eat them, so you are welcome to them. Sorry, I already helped myself a little to the bottle. Bo got me kind of worked up.

Happy Hunting!

Aidan, I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions with Piper, but that whole "eating souls" thing kind of made me, well, a little nervous.

Dear Brand,
My mom won't give me any financial advice, even though she used to be a fund manager. Can you? I have no idea what to do with all my retirement savings now that the bottom has fallen out of the market.

Anonymous said...

Hi Brand

No, I don't know anything about the stock market. Can you make alot of money?

I've never had a girlfriend.

Hi Candy

You sound really cool. Do you have a boyfriend? Do you like guys who are younger?

My mom and dad don't take photos, so I don't know.

Shadow

Ms. Fettleston said...

Ms. Piper, that was a lovely magic trick, truly. I know you didn't mean to almost set the house on fire, dear. Of course you may have more tea.

Ms. Annabelle, I'm afraid that mummies don't eat food, dear. But you may have all that you like. The eggs were ovals, but now they were cut in a pretty shape. If you like I can show you how to do it. Have a piece of cake, dear.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Ms. Candy, you didn't scare me at all, dear. Why you couldn't if you tried. How lovely of you to say such nice things. Would you like another tart, dear?

Ms. Christine, I am very grateful that you stepped in, dear. I slept much longer than I expected. I must have been quite tired from the preparations. You made all of the guest feel at home. Thank you, dear.

How wonderful that the color blue suits you. I shall knit you a scarf in blue. To thank you, dear.

Anonymous said...

Hi Piper

That's okay. Could you it again? That was cool!

I'll have some more sandwiches.

Shadow

Brokerage said...

Christine - well, you might do better talking to that Piper over there. It will take some magic to fix this market.

Call me. I'll set you up with an agent who can take a look at your portfolio.

Shadow, kid, your approach needs work. Don't be so direct with the ladies. Be alittle more smooth, you know?

Candy said...

You sound so nice, Shadow. Unfortunately I live with a bloke called Brian who's really turning out to be so wasted on one thing or another most of the time he's not worth much for anything. Maybe you and I could be friends though?

Ms. Fettleston, I promised to help clean up. I feel quite ill though. So much rich, delicious food. Think I'll just nap a while in this corner. if you don't mind. Call me when you need me... I'm sorry Piffla's gone...
(small snore)

Christine H said...

Candy, Thanks for being so nice to Piffla! Look, she's fallen asleep on your shoulder. How sweet! I'm just going to take her now. I don't think she'll wake up. She was up awfully long today.

Brand, have some moonshine. I'll pour some in your cup.

Shy I love the way you talk! It's very deep. Makes me think.

Ari, Flower, Berta, Candy, Shadow, and Shy - This is for you. It's a song I was just listening to:

The life that you've been living
The days that you've been given
Were made for
Something beautiful
Life - Don't let it pass you by
Because you were created for
Something Beautiful
-Natalie Grant

I have to run now. Thank you so much Mrs. Fettleston for everything! I would love a blue scarf, but not navy if you please. Something lighter? That would be perfect. You are so kind.

I wish I could stay and get to know everyone else more. Bye!

Marilyn Peake said...

Ba! Ba! Ba! Need sweet food for the mummy! For art museum! Must have it! Please! Please! Please! Right now! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Do not say mummies don’t eat sweet food. No...no...no...no...no...no...no! Wrong answer!

And I do not want to change oval eggs into flowers. No! No! No!

- Anabelle Moon, main character (young girl) diagnosed with several possible labels: "autism", "idiot savant" and "Asperger’s Syndrome", in the short story, Mummy in the Art Museum, published in the Twisted Tails II: Volume 1 – Time on our Hands anthology

Fin said...

Wow, Ms. Fettleston. You've thrown quite the hopping tea party. Thanks. And since I don't think anyone has touched the dark chocolate muffins, I'll take three. Wow, everyone is kind of beautiful aren't they? I was hoping Goran would stop by, but maybe that would be too impossible.

Anonymous said...

Hi Candy

Friends are okay.

Hi Brand

Guess you're right. What should I do?

Hi Christine

I'm almost 16. I might have to shave soon.

Shadow

Anonymous said...

Hi Fin

Fin, do you have a boyfriend?

Shadow

Marilyn Peake said...

Ms. Fettleston,

Please don’t feel badly because of my little girl’s outbursts. She hasn’t been the same since I took her to visit a section of the New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art where Egyptian artifacts and a mummy are on display. On the positive side, Anabelle began to speak after her visit there. I thought socializing at your tea party could be a very good experience for her, even though she becomes easily upset. Thank you for your kindness and hospitality.

- Mrs. Moon, mother of the main character in the short story, Mummy in the Art Museum, published in the Twisted Tails II: Volume 1 – Time on our Hands anthology

Ms. Fettleston said...

Ms. Candy, I'm sorry that you are feeling ill, dear. You can lie in the back bedroom, if you like. Would you like a hot compress, dear? A hot water bottle? Some aspirin? Oh, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly, dear.

Welcome Ms. Fin. How lovely to have you. I was hoping you would come by, dear. Yes, the chocolate muffins are quite delicious.


Oh, my, Ms. Annabelle, I did'nt mean to upset you, dear. But mummies really don't eat, dear. Do you know what a mummy is? Here is a nice round egg that you can play with. Be careful, dear, it's will break if you drop it.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Mrs. Moon,

That's quite all right, dear. Is your daughter feeling better? I'm so sorry the mummy upset her.

Candy said...

Small, contented snores

Brokerage said...

Shadow, stop. Just stop.

Look. Here's how it's done. Ask women about themselves. Listen. Nod, like you care. Look into their eyes while they talk. Ask questions, like you care.

While they're talking, surprise them. Invade their space. Lightly brush by some part of their body. Lke it's an accident. Move away alittle too slowly. Make a joke. Look in their eyes.

Rinse and repeat two or three times.

Putty in your hands.

Got that? Give it a try.

Christine H said...

Piper - the song was for you, too. I came back because I left you out and wanted you to know I didn't mean it.

Shadow... don't listen to Brand. He thinks women are like stocks - you just have to take advantage of them at the right time.

Brokerage said...

Christine.

Nice name. Nice poem. Thanks for the whiskey, by the way.

Come sit over by me. Tell me about yourself.

Brand

Ms. Fettleston said...

Oh, dear. I'll just put a blanket over Ms. Candy. She must be all worn out, poor dear.

Mr. Brand, you are almost as naughty as that young incubus, Mr. Bo. Mr. Shadow, I agree with Ms. Christine. Pay no attention to him. Ask a young lady on a nice date, and take her to a movie and dinner. Don't forget to bring flowers, dear. Young ladies love flowers.

Anonymous said...

Hi Brand

Cool. I'll try that. I don't know if I can do it right, though.

Thanks

Shadow

Brokerage said...

Shadow.

Forgot one thing. After you've hooked them, ignore them. 20 minutes should do it, 30 tops.

Then invade their space, and ask them out for a drink. Coke in your case, eh, kid?

Brand

Ms. Fettleston said...

Mr. Brand. All right, dear. I really am going to have to ask you to stop leading this young man down the wrong path, dear. You are quite incorribible, aren't you, dear. Do have some more coffee.

Ms. Fettleston said...

And now, dears, I do think I'll run out and get some more eggs.

Please feel free to carry on without me, until I get back.

Brokerage said...

For you, Ms. Fettleston, of course.

Brand

Scruffy said...

Woof, woof.

Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw.

Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.

Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp.

Wag, wag, wag, wag, wag.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Brand.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Shadow

Anonymous said...

Hi Scruffy

Pat. Pat.


Shadow

Charlene said...

Hm, who brought in the dog? I'm guessing it's not yours Ms. F?

*sigh* hand me one of those blueberry scones and tea, Tanessa's been out there forever. I don't wanna have to carry her out if she collapses!


-Brandon

Vic said...

What'd I miss? I heard there was a bat. Is he still here? I think we'd have a lot to discuss.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Oh my. That took me longer than I thought.

Good evening, Mr. Vic. I'm sorry I'm afraid the bat appears to have gone home.

No, Mr. Brandon, the dog is not mine. He does appear to have helped himself to the raspberry tarts, though, hasn't he?

Vic said...

I'm disappointed about the bat, but I have to get to a gig now, anyway. Thanks for having everyone over, and...well, you may want to take Nevin up on his offer to help out. His type of magic is good for cleaning and fixing things.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Why thank you, dear. If Mr. Nevin would like to help clean up, that would be lovely. Perhaps the tea on the couch? And the whiskey bottles? And the swamp mud? And the mice bones? Thank you, dear.

I think I'll go to bed now. Ms. Candy, why don't we leave some snacks out so that any latecomers can nibble.

Please close the door on your way out, dears.

What a lovely day this has been. Thank you for coming to my tea.

Goodnight.

Nevin said...

(Sneaks in, cleans up with his magic wand, and leaves.)

Aidan said...

Heyya Shadow,

I had to run out a bit. Demons on the roof, but they're gone now.

I'm wiped after that last three blood draws. Can I have some more tea and some scones? I love the ones with the sugar tops.

Looks like the crowd's thinning out, but at least there are no demon-droppings to walk through. (Heh)

Marilyn Peake said...

Thank you, Ms. Fettleston, for the wonderful tea party. You are a dear, sweet woman. The food was absolutely delicious. I hope you aren’t too exhausted after entertaining such a wide variety of guests.

- Mrs. Moon, mother of the main character in the short story, Mummy in the Art Museum, published in the Twisted Tails II: Volume 1 – Time on our Hands anthology

Candy said...

Gosh, everyone's gone! I feel so comfy and safe. Someone covered me with a blanket of some sort. It's dark and quiet - and safe. But how embarrassing! I told Mrs. Fettleston I'd help her clean up! Looks clean though from what I can see.

I'll creep out. Mustn't wake her. Kind lady. Hate to leave. Hope the trains are running. O blimey, Brian will kill me if he notices me come in - probably won't though, with any luck.

Is that dawn already? Happy Easter world!

Anonymous said...

Hi Ms. Fettleston

I had a fun time. Thanks.

Shadow