Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Group Story: Romance

Hi all. Tuesday is group story day. Last week we wrote a thriller. How about a change of pace? Romance!

What do you say? Shall we write the sweetest Romance ever seen? Our job won't be done until we all have at least two new cavities.

So, let's do it! Let's write a masterpiece!

First Line: It was Tuesday. Love was in the air.

Note: For those who are new to group stories, part of the fun is just to go with the twists, the turns, the U-turns, the similies that don't ever stop....turning.

2nd Note: Please feel free to contribute to the story as yourself, your character (s) or both.


Mira said...

It was Tuesday. Love was in the air.

DESTINY said...

Not just the air. Love was in the sky, the clouds, the atmosphere, the stratosphere, and the ozone layer.

No one would escape love today, no matter how hard they tried.

It was Destiny.

csmith said...

The love was stifling. Tom smacked two bluebirds that were trying to mate on his head. What a pointless exercise! He resumed reading.

Kalila said...

Who needed love anyway? It was just a pointless human emotion.

Anonymous said...


Although it really would be nice to have a girlfriend.

Someone pretty and nice and smart.


Anonymous said...

"You must pay the rent!"

exclaimed the mean landlord, twirling his mustache as he looked at the fair damsel.

Nevin said...

And the fair damsel went running to Shadow. "Please help me! You'll be my hero if you can help me pay the rent!"

Anonymous said...


Let me ask my mom if she can give me the rent.

I'll be right back.


Anonymous said...


No, my mom says she won't give me the money.

Sorry fair damsel


Ricky said...

And so the fair damsel walked away in disgust. What she needed was a creative thinker. She needed a man who could think outside the box. No way could she love someone who gave up that easily!

Kalila said...

Wow, Ricky. Maybe the fair damsel should do a little of her own creative thinking, hm?

Bo said...

I hear stripping pays pretty well.

Anonymous said...

Oh Ricky,

Will you save me from that ghastly vampire, who tells me now that he is my landlord too?

-fair damsel

Ms. Fettleston said...

Oh dear. A vampire?

The fair damsel, who was named Petunia (isn't that a lovely name?) decided to hold a concert at her local church to raise funds.

She contacted her good friend, Basil (isn't that a handsome name?) to help her plan the concert.

Basil was in love with Petunia, but, sadly, she had always thought of him as just a friend.

Ms. Fettleston

(Oh, dear. I confess that I have a weakness for romance. My. It is fun to tell a story, isn't it?)

Anonymous said...

Ms. Fettleson,

Would your first name be ...?

Oh do tell us more about that nice gentleman.

Ms. Fettleston said...

Dear Anon,

Oh, no, dear. Someone else must tell the story first.

Why don't you continue our story, dear?


Ms. Fettleston

Vic said...

You cannot have a concert without me, fair damsel! And I will take all the proceeds!

Ricky said...

Sorry, Vic. It's a daytime concert. And you've already got a gig for later that night.

Vic said...

Curses! Foiled again!

Nevin said...

I'll help you with your concert, fair damsel. And maybe you'll meet your prince charming!

Ricky said...

Actually, Nevin, I think she's supposed to fall in love with Basil.

Speaking of...I'm off to lunch. Anyone care to join me for Italian food?

Candy said...

Free food? I'll take you up on that. Anything but fish and chips.

But first - As the lovely Petunia talked to him,Basil heard no words , just watched those tempting, pouty lips and now and again dropping his eyes to her heaving, silicon bosom. "Yes," he sighed, "Yes, I will do anything!" Sweat dripped off the end of his nose.

Maxwell said...

Some of the sweat got onto the silicon.

This was special silicon.

Sweat makes it swell. Bigger and bigger.

The silicon breasts got really, really, really big.

Bo said...

I'm starting to enjoy this story. So did they have sex?

Kalila said...

No. She told him to quit staring at her breasts, get his mind out of the gutter, and help her get this show put on so she could pay the rent.

And Candy, don't even think of moving in on my human. I've got my eye on you.

Anonymous said...


You have to save me from that blood sucker Vic.

I have been practicing my vocals for the concert.

If I can pay the rent, he will remain cursed, but I will escape him

..and rush into your arms, my hero!

-fair damsel

Anonymous said...

Petunia was my great great aunt's dear friend.

Oh but she had a love of her own, my great aunt did.

She was a very proper woman and kept her heart very proper too. But once I saw it, a little white hanky with a dried wildflower in it. She confessed that a special young man had picked it for her and presented it to her at thee county fair.

After that, she would never look at another suitor.
Yes, that's my great aunt fettle...

oh yikes! did I press "publish your comment" ?????? Oh dear, Aunt Fett, um my great aunt who I did not and will not name, will be so mad at me.

it was just a typo, I confessed, to her, hoping she would not realize my white lie, for she does not approve of such things as even white lies.

Anonymous said...


I have just released a tiny vile of my own formula of fairy truth juice,

from which no one is immune.

You must tell the truth when you speak until my spell wears off

and we will all learn who loves who around this story!


fif yin
green fairy
(mischief happens)

Bo said...

Fair damsel, you may want to be careful about flirting with Ricky. The djinn can do some pretty unpleasant things to a human when she's pissed.

I'm available, though. What do you say?

Ricky said...

Well, that was a pleasant lunch. Thanks for your company, Candy!

Hi, Petunia. How's the concert coming along? Need any advice--

Ow! Dammit, Kalila! Stop that!!!

Bo said...

Yep. Never piss off a djinn in love.

Ow!!! Okay, Kalila. Djinns don't love!


Nevin said...

Wow. It looks like love creates a lot of problems, doesn't it?

See what you started, green fairy?

Hi, Ms Fettleston. I've missed you. Can I come to your place and have a cup of tea? I'm getting very upset at all the chaos here.

Anonymous said...


who are those funny looking peopel over there, kissing everyone in sight?

(usually looks like a lump of rock sitting here amongst you, but I am a troll in love with Mordila, my true troll love) -a pile of rocks indeed!

Candy said...

Cor', Kalila, he did ask me! I only wanted lunch!
Thanks,Ricky, first square meal I've had for a while. It was nice of you to give me half of yours - and that trifle with cream on it.

Meanwhile - the night of the concert is looming, as are Petunia's breasts, causing a baffle to her voice which will only be heard as a small squeal from behind them.
"OH, Boris, what can we do? Can you sing and take my place? You do look a bit like Susan Boyle and I could love any man who could sing as well as she does. But no, of course you can't. we'll have to look for someone else."

Candy said...

Basil's eyes grew moist and large, as he realized she couldn't even remember his name. "Sob" into large, grubby handerchief.

Anonymous said...

Then a talent agent came around the corner.

He took one look at Petunia's enourmous breasts, and said, "Baby, I'll sign you right now. You have something very special to offer."

"But, I can't sing," squeaked Petunia.

"Who cares?" said the agent. And he whipped out a pen.

Bill looked up from his blubbering. "Wait," he said.

Anonymous said...

Baranaby was insistent.

"I'll sing for her," he said.

He was a man in love, even if even the writers couldn't remember his name.

(At least they remembered it started with a B!)

And for that matter, Petunia missed it almost completely that Ms.F gave her that lovely name.
She swirled in a circle holding her skirt and curtsied to Ms. Fettleson.


In the meantime, a mysterious and dashing man in a suit and bow tie straight from thee county fair was rushing toward the church holding a freshly picked bouquet of wildflowers.
"Have you seen my Ms. Fettleson?" he asked the writers nervously.

Anonymous said...

I love these group stories.
Thanks for this site!)

Cupid said...

Wait. I thought the landlord was supposed to get Petunia.

What happened here?

Anonymous said...

Vic, the landlord must not get Petunia! But he will if she doesn't pay the rent and he will suck her blood! Oh no!

She is in love with Ricky who she begs to save her.

Unfortunately, that makes Kalila, who loves Ricky too (but is dangerous and in denial) mad (not a nice thing to do)
and Basil-Brian-Barnaby, who loves Petunia, sob.

And Bo, would prefer Petunia date him, not Ricky. He has nice abs.

We worry that Petunia won't be able to raise the money in her church concert.

In the meantime, a handsome gentleman is looking urgently for Ms. Fettleson.

Oh my!

Nevin said...

This is all so exciting! Can I have another cup of tea, Ms F?

Oh, wait! There's a gentleman looking for you. Maybe you should find out what he wants.

Candy said...

At the same time the audience is entering the auditorium grumbling about the price of fifty dollars a ticket but scarfing down the muffins Mrs. Fettlestone has baked. Seeing that they are the only thing keeping the audience calm she rushes off to bake more and maybe add something to cause a certain mellowness in the crowd. Boris is drinking lemon juice, preparing to sing, and trying to get Petunia's attention away from those other lecherous oafs."Perhaps if I could deflate those beastly boobs, they would go away and I could have her to myself and wow her with my song. Oh, help, what were the words?!

Kalila said...

I'll deflate those breasts of hers with my magic if it means Ricky will quit looking at her like that!

Anonymous said...

In the meantime shadow was running back and forth inside his house where his mother had grounded him.

"Oh come on," he pleaded, "please let me go to the concert."

"And covert with older damsels in distress?" she asked. "Not on your life, young man!"

Heartbroken, he opened the window of his bedroom and called for DESTINY!

Anonymous said...

"You leave my breasts alone!" declared Petunia in alarm at Kalila.

"I'm saving these love swells for Ricky if he saves the day! They are for my hero!"

Destiny said...

What? I was asleep.

Can't Destiny take a nap?

Let me read the story so far......................................................................................................

Yes, well, I hate to break it to everyone, especially Bo, but those breasts are destined to blow. And blow big.

I'd duck if I were you.

Candy said...

An amazing high note rises from Basil who has been blown on stage by the explosion.
"Oh, Basil!!" gasps Petunia, overwhelmed by emotion. "that was truly wonderful!"
The two fall into each other's arms, there being room now the big boobs have gone, and a purple light suffuses all. The audience cheers , floating on clouds. as a result of Mrs. F's latest, strongest batch of muffins and the overpowering message of love. (sort of)

Laurel said...

Our fair Petunia did not know that her voice would revolt against the constriction of the impossible bosom. Rehearsing for her upcoming performance she struck the high C over middle C and like fine stemware, the heaving breasts shimmered breifly before the impending explosion...

Laurel said...


DRAT! You beat me to it. Way to stay on the same page, though!

To the other contributors:

I propose we honor Candy's contribution to the story over my own since she did post it first.


Mira said...

I see no reason we can't have two brilliant endings to this glorious love story. Somehow, it seems appropriate.

What a romance.

I'm verklempt.


So moving. Just exploding with emotion.


Laurel said...

In that case, Mira:

...before the impending explosion burst forth, obliterating not only her bodice but Ricky's infatuation with her. Fortunately for both of them.

Basil, however, was never a breast man and completely smitten with her lovely singing voice. He rushed to cover her bare torso with the shirt from his own back, sweeping her off her feet with the force of his chivalry and emotion, as he planted true love's kiss on her pouty lips.

It was a good thing he swept her off her feet first. She didn't even notice that he was a good ten inches shorter than she was. By the time it caught her attention she was too in love to care.

Anonymous said...

dammit missed the whole story.


The audience watched the lovers leave the stage, wiping bits of bosom and silicon off their faces.

In silence they mourned the bosom that had HEAVED ITS LAST...

Anonymous said...