Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Group Story: Children's Story


Time for our next masterpiece! We've created a thriller, and a romance. What else could possibly be next but a kid's book!

Let's write a story that will entertain all the little ones. Look at that little face. The children need us. So, let's do it! Let's write a children's story!

And of course, we'll start with something truly original:

"Once Upon a Time...."

51 comments:

Mira said...

Once upon a time.....

DESTINY said...

There was a hippopatamus, a little boy, a red fox and a banana...


(true story)

Anonymous said...

The hippo, Patamus, and the little boy,Elmo, were fast friends.

Anonymous said...

The red fox wanted to be friends, too, but he was shy. As for the banana, he was very happy minding his own business and growing yellow with each passing day.

DESTINY said...

Oh. There was a turtle too.

I forgot.

Anonymous said...

Hi

Then they all went to a concert.

There was beer at the concert, but they weren't supposed to drink the beer.

Their mom would get really mad if they drank the beer.

Shadow

Anonymous said...

Except for the banana. He preferred rum. But since it's a children's story and he is a very responsibly banana, he's on the wagon.

Anonymous said...

"Bad beer, Bad beer," said the turtle.

"No. Good beer," said the fox, looking crafty.

The bananna said nothing.

The little boy looked at the pretty beer. "Pretty," he said.

Anonymous said...

Also, the only beer there was illicit, snuck in by irresponsible guardians. They don't sell beer at Wiggles concerts, no matter how much the grownups need it.

Anonymous said...

Okay, getting down to business.

The writers passed the beer around and got in the storywriting mood
and were just pulling out their pens and pencils when Shadow's mother came in and dumped the rest of the beer down the drain.

Shadow was given a VERY stern look.
Even DESTINY went behind the couch when Shadow's mother used that look.
She was not a mother to be messed around with.

She picked the banana from the tree and peeled it and took a big bite.

Nevin said...

The banana screamed in terror!

Anonymous said...

The little boy burst into tears seeing as how that banana was his very best friend.

Anonymous said...

Hi

Wow. You've met mother? I didn't know that.

Shadow

Ricky said...

Wow, this is starting to sound like not so good a story for little kids.

Kalila, can't you do something?

Kalila said...

What should I do, Ricky? Kids need to be toughened up a bit. It's a mean world out there for you mortals.

Anonymous said...

"I hate it when that happens," said the bananna. "Someone is always taking a bite out of me."

He shook his head, and more bananna popped out!

You see, boys and girls, he was a special bananna. A very special bananna with special super-powers.

Can you guess what that super-power is?

Anonymous said...

"Now, Elmo," said mother, "you keep on that baby hippopotamus (wow that was hard to spell) costume or Patamus might think you are not his friend."

She took another bite of the banana.

"Yummm," she said.

She reached down and patted the turtle who took a bite too.

"Yummy," said the turtle.

Anonymous said...

Suddenly Mother and the turtle sprouted banana trees out of the tops of their heads.

Banana trees with wings!!!

"That'll show em!" said the banana, quickly regenerating himself and closing up his skin again.

Anonymous said...

He was not a banana to be fooled with!

Anonymous said...

Of course, the problems really began when the beer started talking.

"who poured me out?"

"And who are those people with wings sprouting out of their heads?"

Anonymous said...

I should have known better than to try to spice things up for the concert goers. Hot stamp bacteria toxin in its powdered form always does the weirdest things to people who live on dry land. And mixing it with banana...*shudder*

I just felt sorry for them. The Wiggles? Dreadful.

Oh, and Kalila, you are so right. Very insightful.

Sirena

Bo said...

Clearly someone had gotten ahold of some psychadelics and sprinkled them liberally into food and drink. Sadly, no one looked any sexier.

Ricky said...

But it didn't who looked sexy because it was a CHILDREN'S story, Bo!

Ricky said...

All this was Sirena's doing!

But...why?

Kalila said...

To broaden the children's minds, of course. Really, you need to work on your powers of imagination, Ricky.

Anonymous said...

Suddenly, the teapots started to dance.

They sang a song about bananna trees growing out of your head. With wings.

It was a jumpy, bouncy song.

Then the butterflies joined the teacups, and everyone started to do a jumpy, bouncy dance!

Nevin said...

Yay for butterflies! Let's all dance!

Candy said...

"Quiet! Quiet!" The voice could be heard above all the happy uproar and everyone stopped, looking toward the forest from which came the thud, thud of feet. Very big, threatening feet .
Some thought they smelled giant breath, which, as everyone knows, is exactly like beer.

Anonymous said...

Hi

Giant beer?

Cool.

Best story ever.

Shadow

Candy said...

Shadow, go get a pepsi and forget stronger stuff for a while - it's addling your brain!

Anonymous said...

Hi Candy,

Okay. Can I have a coke instead?

Have you ever had rum and coke?

Shadow

Anonymous said...

THE BEER came stomping in.

"I will NOT be written out!" he said.

Elmo hid under Patamus and used his speed dial to call the red fox to warn him.

"Look out, Little Red Fox!" he whispered into his cell phone.
"One big old giant THE BEER is back in the story. And tell Shadow, that if he ever needed his mother..."

Elaine 'still writing' Smith said...

With the tinkling of the tiny silver bells, that hung from the fringes that decorated her snowy, white dress, a tiny figure appeared beside little Elmo.
“Come out from under there, Elmo,” said his Fairy Godmother, “Don’t you worry about the beer. I will protect you.”
“Oh! Thank you Fairy Godmother!” cried Elmo, as he put his mobile phone into the pocket of his bunny sleepsuit.
“Let’s just see what we can do about that beer!” she said glowering severely at the cowering beer. “He is just a bully! He must learn not to turn up little children’s stories and shout and bluster so.”
Now, what came next may surprise you - so be warned – you are about to learn something that very few people know about fairies. For any tiny, ancient human this behaviour might not be - entirely - a good idea, but don’t worry your little heads about it. Elmo’s Fairy Godmother was a magical being with a high level of tolerance towards alcohol.

Candy said...

Fairy Godmother shot sparkles from her eyes. "Big Beer, you have met your match!"
Hippopatamus, little boy and red fox rushed up to hide under her flowing starsky robes, peeking out with awe to see what would happen next.
"Pass me the banana!" FG whispered.
The boy snatched the banana from where it was pretending not to exist on the ground nearby and put it on the end of FG's wand.
With a crashing of thunder and roars from the alcohol gods the terrible thing happened and the secret was revealed!

DESTINY said...

What? What? What's the secret?

I can't stand the suspense!

Anonymous said...

Ricky,

What do you mean why? Have you ever been to a Wiggles concert? It's soul crushing. I was just trying to help people have a little fun. Is this related to your oviphobia?

Thank you, Kalila, for your understanding. Ricky needs a few more centuries and some education before he can keep up with the likes of you. Your patience is remarkable.

All the best,
Sirena

Ricky said...

I just thought bacteria toxin was a bit excessive for a children's story. Just because I don't rep kiddie music doesn't mean I don't know who the Wiggles are, though. Scary bunch.

Kalila said...

I just want to know who let Bacchus into this story. Alcohol gods? Drunken has-beens.

Nevin said...

I'll finish the story, then.

The terrible secret was...that it was all just a dream!

Vic said...

Lame, fairy. Really lame. Do you know how overdone the "just a dream" ending is? Leave it to you to try and finish the story with a cliche cop-out.

Nevin said...

*sniff* I didn't mean to make anyone unhappy. *sniff*

Someone else will have to finish, then. I'm too upset.

Anonymous said...

The GIANT, THE BEER, pounded his chest and yoodled into the wicked night sky!

The bananas flew off the trees, their wings freeing each and every one of them.

The left-over abandoned head-dress banana trees folded like such a bad hair day over the turtle and poor Shadow's mother (who needed to get to her hairdresser appointment even more than her therapist's appointment that she had needed when she'd discovered her son, Shadow, had been conspiring with the head banana to lend him a little sweet fruit for his, um, undercover dakari.(whew!)

Anonymous said...

A new motto was declared by all:

Better Hair Than Gone!

Anonymous said...

"I love bananas," said Shadow.

Anonymous said...

The teapots ran off with THE BEER!

Anonymous said...

..and Shadow went after them!!!!

Anonymous said...

No good deed goes unpunished. The bacteria toxin was for the GROWN UPS.

And that is truth of the secret. It wasn't a dream, it was a bad trip. Sorry kids.

And Ricky, it's not like I told them Santa Clause quit 370 years ago and has been replaced with a series of publicity seeking imposters ever since. Lighten up!

Sirena

Anonymous said...

The little red fox said, "to heck with this," and put on a nice boogaloo!

"Kids just want to have fun and hide from scary monsters!" said the little boy hiding under the baby hippopotamus costume.

"But what do turtles and bananas and BIG BEER want?" asked Patamus.

Anonymous said...

"Those are the deep questions," agreed the banana.

"Yes, worth taking your time getting to the finish line with," agreed the turtle.

"Wow, is that a real fairy?" asked Elmo.

"Yes, Elmo" said Patamus, "there is magic in this story enough for fairies too."

Mira said...

Um, is it done?

That was the most degenerate, corrupt and scary children's story I've ever read.

I'm so proud, so very, very proud.

You truly are artists.

sniff

Anonymous said...

Mira,

If "Puff, The Magic Dragon" can be a children's song then what's wrong with a little tripping at a Wiggles concert? Seriously. I'm just sayin'

Sirena