Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Open Discussion: Warning Labels















Did you know that there is an annual Wacky Warning Label Contest? Recent winners include:
  • An information booklet that reads, "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet";
  • The warning, "Always use this product with adult supervision," a label that appears on the underside of a cereal bowl; and
  • A warning provided with a 1" by 4" LCD panel, reading, "Do not eat the LCD panel."
What objects in your life should contain a warning label or a warning sign, and what would that label or sign say?

Anyone can answer, but characters preferred.

43 comments:

Ricky said...

I think the band should have a warning label: Caution: Have Been Known to Bite.

Vic said...

And what's wrong with that, Ricky?

Nevin said...

That's very unfair, Ricky. I don't bite.

Perhaps you need one that says: Warning: Generalizes and Makes Assumptions.

flower said...

I'd just want to label people - 'WARNING - Don't get too attached, they won't be around that long.'

Rick Daley said...

My wife bought some pine nuts from Costco. It's a big bag of pine nuts, just under five cups. Most of the bag is clear, so when you look at it, the main visual impact is - pine nuts.

I looked at the back of the bag to see if there were instructions for toasting them. No dice. There was a recipe for pesto, though. And right under it there was a warning with the following...

Allergy Information:
Contains pine nuts

I had to look past a couple thousand pine nuts to see this helpful information.

Anonymous said...

credit cards should warn:

WARNING! LOAN SHARKS!

Anonymous said...

And some people should have warning signs:

warning - trouble!

Lazaro said...

I want to label my drums: Do Not Touch or I Will Rip Off Your Head and Eat Your Brain!

Mira said...

Lol. These are funny.

Kalila said...

Flower, your idea to put warnings on humans is an excellent one. I recommend:

Warning: Prone to Foolish Emotions

Mira said...

Rick D., that's hilarious.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

My characters need the following warnings:

Aidan--prone to unexpected outbursts ranging from utter love and friendliness to rage.

Kaelin--prone to violence, but only when provoked.

Marc--prone to making fun of you, especially if you don't have a sense of humor.

Jason--prone to acting his age rather than his looks. (He's in his 90s, looks 25)

Kalila said...

Aidan, I'm alarmed at what your author just told us. Love is a very dangerous human emotion. Be careful!

I think authors should have warning labels.

Ricky said...

I agree with you, Kalila. Authors should wear big signs around their necks saying:

Caution: Will Complicate and Endanger Your Life Just Because

Anonymous said...

I like that, Starbucks.

Let's see...

my character F = warning, may miss wife's needs

my character w = warning, may go elemental

my character C = warning, may explode

my character sb = warning, may not wait for a yes

Ricky said...

What kind of author would create a character that explodes? That's just the kind of problem I was talking about. Do characters have no rights at all?

Maxwell said...

My warning label: Extremely Dangerous. Genuis.

If anyone wants an exploding character, let me know. I make one.

Cheap.

Anonymous said...

Hi

I guess mine would be shadow.

Shadow

Anonymous said...

actually, exploding characters are the bomb!!!

Ed said...

My label would read: Warning handle with care: Bruises easily!

At least I make them myself now.

Anonymous said...

She walked down the street away from him.

He didn't like it when she walked away in the middle of a conversation.


He exploded. Kaboom!

She wiped him off her face. Boy it pissed her off when he did that.

Wait til she put him back together again. Next time she was gonna do the exploding. Why should he get to have all the fun?

Anonymous said...

anon 10:30

lol

DESTINY said...

Doesn't matter how many signs I have saying people should follow my. They'll still ignore it and go the wrong way.

Goran Njiric said...

Everything has warning labels. Up here, everyone generally knows to read the label on everything. It takes time, but life out here is generally pretty slow, likely due to all of the label reading.

Still, it's better than sucking vacuum. When the ships come in from Earth, we get at least one idiot a season who doesn't check his valves, or who doesn't follow regulations, or thins he can play fast and loose with the directions.

If he's lucky, he passes out. If he's not lucky, he sucks vacuum and dies. Either way, the world is better without him. Sometimes, however, tragedy strikes and his idiocy (It's always a guy, I don't know why.) ends up killing one or more people.

Depressing, really.

bunnygirl said...

On the backs of our city buses are signs that say:

CAUTION! Children may exit this bus.

I often find myself thinking something on the order of, "OMG! Not....CHILDREN!!!"

Ricky said...

Well, Author, depending on the kids in question, it could be a good warning. I assume you know my niece and nephew, seeing as how you created them, right?

bunnygirl said...

Point taken, Ricky. Your snobby brother and his wife would never let them ride on a city bus, though.

Ricky said...

Yeah. And while we're on this topic, I'd like to talk to you about my family.

bunnygirl said...

Later, Ricky. How about for now I just put labels on them: Dangerously Obnoxious.

Ricky said...

*smiles*

For an author, sometimes you're okay.

Candy said...

I bought a swimsuit with a label that said; Warning! Keep out of sun.

Warning that should be on America's Got Talent: Beware of running eyeliner. Singer can cause tears.

Anonymous said...

Beware of my bunny!

Anonymous said...

Beware of my to-do list!

Anonymous said...

Beware of my finely sharpened tool shed!

Something happened in there!

Anonymous said...

Do NOT eat my cooking!

Anonymous said...

Do NOT let me get carried away with posting warning labels on everything because I'm sure they need them- badly!

Goran Njiric said...

Of course, my author could have the label "Warning: Glacial speeds."

The lazy bastard.

Bo said...

So, Candy, regarding the swimsuit...does that mean you only wear it indoors, or that you don't wear anything to swim in?

Kalila said...

Someone should put a warning label on you, Bo.

Don't be late to tonight's gig, okay?

Gabby said...

Don't cross me, or else, is the warning on me.

Sure wish I could hear your band. I can play drums a bit, My grandad did voodoo stuff and played a wild tattoo. I used to drum along but was small. Now I'd be better, Hey, if I do practice and get good is there a chance I could join your group when I get out of here? If i get out? You don't have to pay me much. Just food and board, I'll work really hard to get good enough.

Kalila said...

Gabby, you'd have to bring your own drums because Lazaro really is that possessive of his. But yeah, you could sit in on a rehearsal or two and see how it goes. Maybe Ricky could set you up as a session drummer for some of the bands he manages.

Ricky said...

Thanks for trying to do my job, Kalila.

Warning on the djinn: Will Try To Run Your Life.

But yeah, Gabby, I always like to know of a good a session drummer. Give me a call when you're out.

Fin said...

Shadow, you have a warning just for being you? Surely not.

Goran, my sympathy is with you. Glacial. Or halted.

Warnings? Prone to emotional outbursts in the form of screwing with you.