After the talk of sadness earlier this week, it's time for an antidote! Let's do an LOL game. This is where you post something that makes you laugh: a joke, a phrase, a story. Anything that brings you a chuckle.
Let's have some laughs together!
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Destiny shall start. Here is a good one:
An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.
"What did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory" commented the giraffe.
"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".
Ha!
"You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent?
That's why I never take baths."
- Stephen Wright
Here's another one.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aesop!
Aesop who?
Aesop I saw a puddy cat!
Ha, ha, ha
Hi
I can't think of anything funny
Shadow
Someone told me about his wife who hates to hear anyone swear but is getting very angry at the telemarketers who keep calling.
Last week he heard her answer the phone and say," Thank you, but I'm not interested." A short pause, then very loudly she shouted into the receiver. "Rude words, rude words, rude words!"
It's not a joke but it made me laugh.
Hi Candy
That was funny
Shadow
You know what is funny?
I blow everyone up.
BOOM. BOOM.
Very funny.
ha ha
When someone has toilet paper on his shoe is pretty funny.
A dog trying to catch a bee...
My almost two year old asking for a "pock-a-sickle". (That's popsicle to the uninitiated.)
Jell-O.
What do I find amusing?
When mortals beg for mercy. Ha! Can you believe they would try to beg mercy from me? How ridiculous they look and sound: "oh, please, spare me. I have a wife and daughter!" Do you now? Then bring them to me.
Oh, I think maybe the best one I've heard was "Oh, Sir, I know you'll do the right thing." She knows I'll 'do the right thing'? Then she doesn't know much! Ha! That one was hilarious!
*snarls* What are you waiting for? Laugh, cretins!
~Nezbit, On Common Ground
I thought it was very funny when Kalila shape-shifted into smoke and accidentally set off the fire alarm at the hotel. She didn't think it was funny at all, though.
The sprinklers flooded my lamp, Nevin! There was nothing funny about my home being ruined. Nothing at all.
Here's another good one:
"Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock, knock jokes!"
Ha, ha, ha, ha
What's funny is when we tell Ricky all the things we've been up to--who we killed, who we had sex with, which places we broke into or whatever, and he runs around in a panic, yelling about "laws" and things like that. Hilarious. Especially when we haven't done anything except work on a new song.
I once saw a man with wooden legs but real feet.
- Steven Wright
The cool thing about escalators is that they don't break. They just become stairs.
- Mitch Hedgeberg
The man knew the flood was coming. The orders came across the news to evacuate, but he didn't leave his house.
"I have faith that the Lord will save me," he said and stayed in his home.
The flood waters covered the street. A jeep drove through the water to his house and offered to take him to safety. "The Lord will save me," he said.
The flood waters rose, and he had to go to the second story of his house. A boat came up to the window and offered to take him to safety. Again he refused, insisting that the Lord would save him.
The flood waters rose higher, and he had to climb onto the roof. A helicopter lowered him a basket as he clung to his chimney, but he would not let go. "I have faith that the Lord will save me," he said again.
The flood waters rose even higher and he was swept away and drowned.
When he got to Heaven he stood before God and said, "Lord, I have been your loyal servant all my life. When the flood waters came, I put my faith in you to save me, but I died anyway."
To which the Lord replied, "I sent you a jeep, a boat, and a helicopter, what else did you want me to do?"
- Anon
Tasha of the 'plastic fashionists' once spent half the day with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her shoe - I feel sick, in so many ways, thinking about how hard I laughed that day.
FLOWER
What did the grape say when the cow stepped on it?
Nothing. It just wined a little.
Here's some more:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Easter.
Easter, who?
The Easter Bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna, who?
Anna nother Easter Bunny!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Moira. Moira, who?
Moira Easter Bunnies.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
Howie gonna get rid of all these Easter Bunnies?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
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