Monday, April 26, 2010

You and Your World: Marriage and Commitment

Today, let's talk about happily-ever-after!

Or not.

In your world, what ways to people commit to each other? If they get married, is it for love, social status, or politics? Do they marry only one person and commit to monogamy, or is some other type of arrangement allowed?












Equally important, how do you feel about the marriage and commitment customs of your time and place? Are you on board with the status quo, or are you determined to flout convention at all costs?

And finally, what makes for a good marriage? No matter how or why two (or more) people commit to each other, what makes it work out for the happiness of all involved?

20 comments:

Aidan said...

I guess everyone knows I'm supposed to marry our Lord Prince's daughter, Cassidy. I'm too young to get married though. I'm not even of age in Sentinel (it's 26 and I'm 23) and I'm only Seer because they don't have anyone else to do it. Special dispensation, they called it.

I don't think Cassidy's said two words to me since we met. She's older and...different. I guess she's a good ranger.

Once we marry in Sentinel, it's for good. We don't have divorce. Sometimes it's for love or sometimes it's for political reasons. I don't think it really matters to happiness from what I can see, but it's not like demons get the whole concept of love anyway. I guess we probably screw around on each other, too, knowing us. Sometimes I... well. I don't want to make Marenya blush again. But it's not really like I'm cheating or anything, right, if she never even looks at me or talks to me?

I wish I didn't have to marry her. But I'll probably die before then, or she will, so it might never happen at all. I really can't imagine us together. And if not, maybe I can get out of it somehow.

Jason said...

I married a human for love, against the wishes of my father. In time my family came to appreciate her, though.

She wanted to let me go as she got older, since I looked the same. But I wouldn't hear of it. All that talk of wrinkles and grey hair... I still have yet to see anyone with eyes so beautiful. It's not really the looks we stay in love with, after all, is it? It's the soul. And, being that I don't have a proper soul, I often wondered what she found in me to love.

Angelique was my whole life and I miss her every day.

Candy said...

I guess I've never known anyone near my own age who was married. Most people just slept around or lived together - or both. That's when I lived in London with Brian. My parents marriage was complete dullsville. Not much inspiration there.
But when I read Jason's story it made me want what he had; someone who really loved me no matter what. Maybe will be possible for me, one day, then I'd want to be married and stay together forever.

Jason said...

I would highly recommend marriage, Candy. True, I miss her, but I, at least, would rather have loved and lost.

Christine H said...

That graphic of the two rings is making me cross-eyed! Kind of like an Eschler painting.

Has anyone but me noticed that the One Ring, the supremely evil Ring of Power, in LOTR, looks just like an ordinary wedding band? What was Tolkein trying to say, I wonder? Hmmmmm....

Aidan said...

No doubt Christine.

Christine H said...

Sorry, I meant M. C. Escher. Not Eschler.

Marenya said...

Aidan, that's interesting about your marriageable age. Our marriageable age is 35, and we complete what we call our Becoming at 25. My author says that since we live twice as long as humans, that's really like 18 and 13.

How long do demons live?

We believe that marriage is sacred, but also that people are flawed. So if someone is truly unhappy and is being abused or neglected by their spouse, they can appeal to the regional judge for a divorce. But that only happens in very rare cases.

Usually, the social pressure on the spouse is enough to make them act better towards their suffering wife or husband. Hanorja don't mind telling others what they think, and if a wife isn't being cared for properly, the neighbors and relatives will let the husband hear about it! Same goes for a wife who neglects her husband.

This is both a blessing and a curse.

But because we believe marriage is sacred, we take a long time making the decision. This is why the age of Choosing is a full ten years after Becoming. Parents feel an obligation to make sure their children make the right choice, and will usually prevent a hasty union.

Aidan said...

Marenya, hi.

Well, we're immortal, I guess, unless something kills us. But just because we're not of age until 26 doesn't mean we can't wait until a long time after. I mean, I plan on waiting as long as we can. And Cassidy is like 50 years older than me (you wouldn't know it by looking at her. She's all golden, her skin and her hair and her eyes are the color of a lion's. The time I saw her she wore this golden gown and it was like she glowed or something--shut up Marc, I'm just telling them is all.)

I think demons are mostly flaws. So one marriage is probably like another and Marc says that's why we don't bother with divorce. I guess messing around is pretty frowned on after all (Marc talked to me today about that) but we're allowed to do whatever we want with who we want if we're not engaged or whatever. I honestly don't know where I stand on that one. Not sure if I've broken rules or not. Not sure I care.

Marenya said...

You seem to be far from "mostly flaws" to me, Aidan.

It sounds like a very unfulfilling life to me. Can't you get out of your engagement somehow?

Aidan said...

Maybe if it became politically important that I make a marriage alliance with someone else, maybe from another country, you know, someone important, close to a future queen...

Marc said...

And there you have one of his many flaws, Marenya. The urge to chat up any attractive lady who will listen.

Aidan said...

Marenya knows I'm teasing, right?

I sure hope Faldur does.

Marenya said...

Fortunately, he's not here. Or perhaps unfortunately.

I wouldn't mind making him jealous, but at the same time, it's rather nice not having him watching me all the time.

I don't understand how you can possibly be a demon, Aidan. You seem more like a protecting angel to me.

If Marc weren't here, perhaps I could put you to the test as to whether you were really just flirting... or not.

I don't believe I just said that. Perhaps you are a demon, to bring out such things in me.

Kaelin said...

Marenya, Aidan appears gentle, but don't let that fool you. His true nature is very violent, as is mine, and all demons. We rely on courtesy as a shield or we turn into the very things we hunt. His happiness is there, real, but it's a thin veneer. Beneath he is a cold-blooded killer.

And he's not so perfect. I've seen him manipulate people and demons, and use his Sight to advantage, especially with pretty girls.

You don't want to put him to that test.

Aidan said...

Uh, Kae, yeah? The whole matchmaker gig isn't working for you.

Marenya said...

(pales a little) I'm obliged to you, Kaelin, for the timely warning. And, Aidan, I must compliment you on having such a.. a well-polished veneer. I don't quite believe you are truly a demon, not as I understand them, for there is nothing good at all in a true demon. And we are all violent underneath, aren't we, in different ways? Violent fears, hates, prejudices.

Please excuse me. I need to see the cook about today's meals.

Aidan said...

Well, I am only half...

I would never harm you Marenya. Never.

But most of what Kae says is right, though I mostly kill fullblood demons...

Faldur said...

There's nothing wrong with killing what needs to be killed, Aidan.

But the females don't understand that as well as we do, which is why I try to shield them.

Aidan said...

I don't know, Faldur. The females I know get it pretty well.

But maybe that's the difference between here and there.