Today we are going to take part in an American fall tradition... football!
Football is a very odd sport. For one thing, the players don't touch the ball with their feet very often. Mostly they throw or carry it. It is played on a field with two large tree-like structures at each end, and the field is painted with white lines to mark the ball's position.
However, the ball is not actually a ball, but shaped like a large, brown egg. It looks quite a bit like a chocolate egg, actually, which may be why all of those overweight men are fighting over it.
In any case, the overweight men chase the ball up and down the field in a game that resembles Keep Away. Sometimes, they also jump into a huge pile. At other times they get turnovers. However, I don't know if they are apple or cherry. Or perhaps they are pizza turnovers. I've never actually seen the turnovers, but I assume they get to eat them after the game.
This type of contest appears to be a way for the various states in the United States of America to work out their aggressions and prevent wars from breaking out. It seems to be effective, despite the fact that the men wear their armor underneath their clothing instead of over it.
It's a bright, sunny day here at the stadium. While we are waiting for the game to start, would you like a hot dog? I don't think they are really made of dogs, but then... you never know. Perhaps we should stick to soft pretzels and beer instead.
Here come the players and cheerleaders now!